Don’t let the man get you down.
So you’re suffering from a little thing all of us have experienced at least once in life (unless you’re my disgusting Man Thing, who has never had this a day in his life): chapped lips. Unfortunately for you, it’s somewhat of a snowball problem. Once they’re there, you’re going to notice and probably lick them a lot, making it worse.
I have worse news for you: chapped lips, much like your nails, are a result of your lifestyle. You’re going to have to make permanent changes to permanently fix your lips. There is no magic product that’s going to make everything better without any effort on your part. Don’t believe me? Let me introduce you to the one person I know who suffered from chapped lips for about fifteen years: myself.
Hi. I had chapped lips. Bleeding, prickly, ugly, chapped lips. And nothing I ever did, no product or home cure I ever tried worked to fix them. I used to scour the internet for hours trying to find remedies. I spent $15 on a tiny, Barbie-doll sized dollop of gloss that was supposed to repair my lips. I tried scrubs and toothpaste and citrus and masks and anything you can probably name. The chapped lips persevered.
Currently, however, I’m rocking a pretty pucker.
It’s been that way for almost a year now. What did I do to finally fix my chapped lips? You’re going to hate me, because it’s not an easy fix. That’s okay, I can take it, I’m the oldest child of four. Here’s a few things to get you started:
1.) Realize that you’re an oral fidgeter. If your lips are chapped, you probably lick at them quite a bit. When they’re so chapped they’re prickly, you probably even bite at those prickles, sometimes drawing blood. But it’s okay, because every time you roll your lips (which is a lot), that pokey feeling of dried skin is gone. The red patch is better than that damn pokey feeling.
2.) Analyze your water intake. Your skin is an organ. This organ is water intensive.
3.) Understand the products that you’re using and what they’re doing to you. Chapstick? Ditch it. Also, understand that lips, like the rest of your skin, produce their own oil and understand how certain products affect that.
4.) Stick to a moisture routine. I’m not talking anything intense here, it’s tiny changes that make a big difference. Because that’s what I’m all about: as little work as possible.
Still confused? Okay, let’s break it down. Point #1 says to realize that you’re an oral fidgeter. You bite your lips, roll them, lick them a lot, and probably bite the insides of your cheeks as well. This is amped up immensely when you’re concentrating very hard on something. Sound familiar? The first, and most important step, is to break this habit. If you’re anything like me, this habit has been around for years and will not break easily. How did I break it? Gum. Lots of gum. It satisfied the urge to do something with my mouth (minds out of gutters for a moment, please) and kept my saliva off of my lips. Saliva is bad for lips.
The other thing I did? I got a really intensely sticky and strongly scented lip gloss. When I feel this stuff on my lips, I don’t want to ruin it so I naturally hold off on the biting/licking/rolling. If you’re a man, this solution might raise questions about your sexuality.
On top of the gum and the gloss, you need to realize and accept that your lips are going to be a mess for a week or so while your skin heals. Embrace it. While chewing gum. Gum has the added bonus of killing the urge to snack, for those of you who also want to lose weight. Magic stuff, that gum.
Point #2: analyze your water intake. I know I sound like a broken record, because all of the research you’ve done on the net says the same thing: drink more water to fix chapped lips. And if you’re like me, you went “okay, sure,” then never actually did it because drinking water requires finding a clean glass and actually waiting a whole 30 seconds to fill it up. Eight times a day, at least. What a pain in the ass, having clean drinking water right in my home. (first world problems are a bitch, right?)
I used to survive every day on maybe 3 glasses of water. Maybe. Probably more like two and on some days when I was really busy, maybe only one glass of water. I don’t know how I wasn’t dehydrated. When I got pregnant, I was suddenly insatiably thirsty and needed to up my intake. For me, getting enough water every day was all about finding the right container.
This Bubba holds 32 ounces of liquid. It’s not spillproof if it tips, but the straw is actually rubber so it lasts for-freaking-ever. It’s so well insulated that I filled it with ice water and left it in my hot car for two hours in 100º+ heat and the ice was still happily floating around in there. No, my check isn’t in the mail. I found a great product that’s really helped me drink more water, so I’m sharing. I take this thing with me everywhere and refill it probably three or four times a day. That’s about 100 ounces of water a day. I pee clear, homies. And my lips and skin are great. Moral of the story: find a container to be your life mate and you’ll go far.
Point #3 was to understand the products you’re using. If you’re like me, you’ve bought every moisturizer under the sun to no avail. First of all, Chapstick doesn’t do anything but protect your lips from UV. It’s wax with a pretty (if not nostalgic) scent and UV protection. That’s it. Stop using it.
Also, lips are like skin in that they produce their own oil. The more you try and replace their oil with a synthetic one, the less they’ll produce on their own. Especially if they’re constantly trying to generate new skin through all the scars and wounds chronic chapped lips has caused. Translation: the sooner you can get to a point where you don’t need products at all, the better.
And point #4 was to stick to a moisture routine. I know, this sounded like work. You were hovering over your browser’s back button when you read it. You’ll thank yourself for ignoring that impulse. It’s easier than you think. Here’s what I do: every time I shower, I rub my lips with my fingers to remove dead skin. In the beginning, this yielded a lot of dead skin as my lips were healing. The very deep tissue of my lips was healing and regenerating, so if I forgot to rub during one shower session then I noticed it in the form of flaky, chapped lips. It’s okay, leave it alone and it won’t be there forever. Currently, I rarely get anything off when I rub my lips. The next thing I do? Every night when I go to bed I apply a moisturizing product. A lot of healing happens over night, so life is good.
That’s it. Exfoliate, then moisturize when you go to bed. Tadaa.
So let’s recap here: Ditch the oral fidgeting habit with gum or something on your lips that will make you want to leave them alone. Drink tons of water – usually aided by getting a container you can work with. Stop using chapstick and invest in a good moisture product. Exfoliate gently in the shower and moisturize at night. Easy.
There are a few things to account for. Car rides heavy on the AC (unavoidable here in Cali) will dry out your lips fast. Carry a moisture product in your purse/pocket (but do not leave it in the car, as it will melt all over the damn place). Sometimes we don’t drink enough water and dryness happens, moisturize instead of rolling and licking. And getting out of the shower will sometimes dry things out, so once again, moisturize. If you’ve had a particularly chappy day (that just sounds funny), might I recommend wearing vaseline or a very ooey-gooey product over night. Something very thick and wet (expensive glosses work good with their stickiness) will seal your lips and keep them wet all night long, giving wounds a chance to heal up quickly.
Of course, nothing here is a quick fix. It takes all of these things working together to fix your chapped lips, and even then, it’s going to take time for years of abused skin tissue to repair itself deep down. Years of scar tissue needs to learn to regenerate the proper amount of oil and the skin needs to restore elasticity, yes? So don’t expect a great pout over night. Invest the time and energy into making these tiny changes and then you won’t have to worry about it any more.
Hope this has helped someone. Good luck.
-Mwah
Let It Show 